In the WIlderness

So I just finished my online Bible study for this week, because let’s face it…it’s almost impossible to find time to physically meet more than once a week these days. My small group from church meets every Tuesday night, and I love, love, love it! It’s a couples group, although right now I’m only one half of a couple since my other half is on the football field more often than not right now. (I love football…I love football…I love……….. :( Anyway, the social butterfly in me who longs to be surrounded by people, conversation and esp God’s word, decided to do an online women’s study. I think I am going to really like it; so much so that while I actually took tonight’s class only because I will be out of town this Saturday; the time slot I had originally signed up for; I am planning on rearranging my weekly schedule to stay in this group. I loved the women and their willingness to be transparent right off the bat. We all know how much I believe in being transparent and the dreaded V word-VULNERABLE- when it comes to women sharing their hearts. I always say “life’s experiences are for naught if we don’t use them to help others”. One statement made tonight that really touched my heart, and apparently also an open wound, was when one woman mentioned being in the wilderness; wow, can I relate? It is such a lonely feeling...and every woman has experienced it before. It's when you can only go by your heart knowledge that God is there because your head and everything else around you seems to say He's not. I hate that feeling, but I'm grateful that He has shown me how faithful He is in the past, or else those are the times I would lose hope. There is a song by Barlow Girl, and I may have mentioned it in a previous blog because I am so affected by the words, it’s called “I Cry Out”.... “I waited for you today; But You didn't show I needed you today, so where did you go? You told me to call, Said You'd be there and though I haven't seen You, Are You still there? Chorus: I cry out with no reply and, I can't feel You by my side So I'll hold tight to what I know, You're here and I'm never alone. And though I cannot see you, and I can't explain why such a deep, deep reassurance, you’ve placed in my life oh we cannot separate, you’re part of me and though you’re invisible, I'll trust the unseen” How awesome it is that even when we don’t hear Him, or feel Him, we can still hold tight to what we KNOW. It’s because of that “deep deep reassurance” that we can walk through the wilderness; as dry as it is, with no times of refreshing, and the only wellspring we see turns out to be a mirage….dragging our poor lifeless body, praying that breakthrough is just over that next sand dune……..and know that GOD IS. Period. He is. Everything we need; everything we will ever need. He is our provision even when we can’t see Him. “Though you’re invisible, I’ll trust the unseen”. That’s what the wilderness means to me; it still doesn’t make the loneliness much better but at least there is hope based upon past history with God. I depend so tremendously on that past history; on His faithfulness in my trials; without those times to recall, I’d be a basket case. I hope this ministers to someone else, because it sure worked for me! If it did, please share your heart with the rest of us. I’m tellin’ you….there are so many women out there that just need to know they are not alone in their journey through that wilderness. I truly believe we can change our piece of the world if we would only learn to be open and transparent with other women, and help each other through the struggles. How awesome would it be to have a network of women who refuse to catfight and manipulate, but choose to champion, encourage, and empathize with each other? Let’s try it and see!