I love to blog; it is the most cathardic thing in my life right now besides my daily devo time. I'm able to just spill all the gunk that junks up my mind during my waking, and sometimes sleeping moments. And the fact that you all read it and can relate sometimes is totally cool! (and a little scary)
For the first time in my life I finally feel I have a place to share anything and everything that pops into my head. I'm having de'ja vu that I've written this in a previous blog, but understand that I am just so appreciative to have a forum to rejoice, brag, vomit, complain, just whatever strikes me and for the first time, I could care less what "they" think of me.
God has so been teaching me!!! Especially that HE is the only one that matters in the scheme of what is thought of me (yes, I want my husband, children, and the few friends I've chosen to keep, to love me, but for who I really am-no more pretending, no Stepford wife mentality, and no more trying to please anyone but God) When you focus on God all the rest falls into place anyway.
For instance, today I received a compliment on the way I handle certain situations-truth be told,while the complimentor. who is a friend of mine, is talking (one of the few who actually made the cut from his surroundings) I'm thinking to myself,"ya know, the way I react is not always the way I truly feel about a particular situation , but the Holy Spirit seems to react on my part before I can voice my own opinion on the matter. God protects me from myself when I trust Him completely. So while I am feeling free to be me, He is still putting the coal on my mouth to shut me up. Whatever works I guess, as long as I don't have to walk in pretense. I was honest with the complimentor and eventually told him that it was not me who was being gracious, it was God, because I don't even have the desire to be gracious in some (okay a lot) of circumstances.
All of the nonsensical spewing in this blog originates from the new quotes I posted to my site. Each one of them defines who I am at this season of my life, and the best part of it -I ABSOLUTELY love me, who I am, what I portray to others, my past, my present, and my hopes and dreams for the future. I am free to us all of the above as a testimony, a healing tool, a counseling monologue, or an experience from which to just be a listening ear.
I am strong only in the Lord and only in the power of HIS might; I have trust only in HIM for tomorrow, and I know that "life sucks and then you die", but that's the good news-regardless what crap life piles on top of you, there is hope for a future in Him after all this is gone.
I hope you enjoy my rantings, and my quotes even more; feel free to claim them as your own if it helps to get you through but do it soon, because I know that like my life and my perspectives, they may change often!
I'm gone!
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