What do You do When You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling?

My devotions this month are mostly about couple, marriage, and love, in honor of Valentines Day; some I'm posting, some I'm not. This one resonated with me on many levels. Some of you know that in our 30 years of marriage, Trace and I have been almost everything...at least once lol. But the thing that keeps us together is that we really "like" each other! I do believe a person can fall in and out of love (romantic, passionate love) with their spouse many times, but you have to remember the first love.....what drew you to that person. I think Sharon Jaymes explains it all very well here. Today’s Truth “Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love,” (Revelation 2:4 NIV). Friend to Friend “We’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’,” the guys crones on the radio. And I sit there and think to myself, “Stop whining man! Love’s not a feelin’ in the first place. That was your problem to being with!” Now, that sounds a little cynical, I know. But can I be honest? I get so weary of people talking about falling in and out of love, like it is something you can turn off and on like an electric blanket to warm you up on a chilly night. Love is a commitment. I married my husband because I loved him. Now I love him because I married him. If we let our hearts be jerked around because how we’re feeling on any given day, then we’re headed on a never ending roller coaster ride that will leave us heart sick and soul sore. (I’m feeling feisty today. Can you tell?) OK, so what do you do if you’ve “lost that lovin’ feelin’”? Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can’t remember why. Maybe you admired his finer qualities, but now you can’t remember what they were. Maybe you appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now take them for granted. What do you do now? Here’s a statistic you might find interesting. According to an analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier. In fact, nearly 60 percent of those who rated their marriage as unhappy in one survey, and who stayed married, rated their same marriage “very happy” or “quite happy” when re-interviewed five years later. In comparison, those who divorced and remarried, divorced again at a rate of 60 percent. So, starting over may very well be the answer … as long as it’s with the same man. In the book of Revelation in the Bible, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus. “Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love” (Revelation 2:4). Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament and yet, somewhere along the way, they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold. And it is the same way in many marriages. Many men and women have forgotten their first love. Somewhere between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running carpool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, folding the laundry…somewhere among the mundane routine of life, they’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’. So how do you get it back? God gave the church two simple steps for the Bride of Christ to renew her passion for her Beloved, and I believe we can apply the same principles to renewing your passion for the man of your dreams. Remember and Return Remember what drew you to your husband in the first place? Remember how you tried to please him, capture his heart, and win his affection? That may have been fifty pounds and a full head of hair ago, but that young man who longed to be adored, admired, and appreciated still lives within his heart. He wants to know if he still “has what it takes.” Let him know that he does. Everyone loves a love story. Tell your children the story of how you first met and fell in love. Remember special days such as your first date, your first kiss, or when you first realized he was the man you wanted to marry. Listen to a tape or watch a video of your wedding. Steve and I celebrate not only our wedding anniversary but also the day he asked me to marry him. I’m sure my son has tired of hearing the story time and time again, but he’s never doubted that his parents are crazy about each other. Listen, if we tried to hang on to that “lovin’ feelin’” 24/7, it would be like continually popping a beach ball up in the air to try and keep it from touching the ground. On the other hand, we CAN commit to love 24/7. And while we’re at it, we can stir up some of that lovin’ feelin’ to go along with it. Let’s Pray Dear Lord, I so want to be a woman that is on fire for You. I want my spiritual passion to be ablaze and never cool. Likewise, I want my marriage to be a passionate example of Christ and the Church. Help me to always remember what drew me to my husband and show me ways to keep that love strong.